Six weeks, two days

Although doing is good for moving forward and not dwelling on grief, I have felt that I have had no time to simply be with myself since I lost Ray. I got a bit of that this weekend at the Glen at Maple Falls, my sister’s great little place near Mt. Baker in Washington state. I planned to go alone with my dog, but my sister was able to join me.

There was a bit of laughing, a lot of walking, a romantic comedy and a few glasses of wine. I eschewed my usual pattern of playing primary cook. Although cooking is my passion, I haven’t been feeling it much since Ray died. I was just happy to have simple meals and use the time to enjoy doing nothing. Probably not enough nothing, though, as I am so tired tonight, I feel like I spent the weekend rock climbing. I’m curious to see how I feel tomorrow.

I am making an effort every day to do what I think is the right thing to move forward. Not every effort is a smashing success, however. I do feel “unburdened” somewhat by simply getting away and having some personal time. I want my energy back, though, so I can jump back into my life with renewed commitment.