MaFelipe, iStock

MaFelipe, iStock

It has been three years.

Some surprising things have been happening to me in a very short period of time since this past Christmas.

A perfect storm of events has occurred: my kids are sliding quietly into their own, private lives; my mom has gone into care; and the last “big” home (in the Lower Mainland) in our sibling family has been abandoned for more practical, smaller space. Things I counted on as constants have gone missing. There is no longer a central place to hang out with siblings. My own home will soon be “empty”. And I find myself without a companion to share things with. I had no idea how profoundly I would feel this.

I thought I would never seek another mate. Ray and I were perfectly matched. And, without him, I no longer have that best friend to talk to about anything and everything. Without him, I no longer want to run our company alone.

I am left to face the reality of living life on my own. But I now know that can’t do that. I need companionship. I need an intelligent, sensitive male with whom to laugh, share stories and experience these next years. So I have allowed myself to open up to meeting someone new. It has been an interesting few months. I didn’t ever really “date”. I met Ray. That was it. Now, like a life sentence prisoner out on release, I am experiencing a very strange world without any guidance. Dating for 20-30-somethings is often more of a quick hookup situation. Tempting though that may be, I’m looking for something with more roots, as well as the passion. I may be quite close.

I am enjoying what I am learning. Baby steps.