Seven weeks, five days

I was thinking about the pathway of my life yesterday. I was re-evaluating the pressures I was experiencing when my children were younger and realizing they are much fewer now than they once were. I was working long, long days; keeping our kids in activities; trying to make ends meet for our business as well as at home. I was constantly stressed beyond my capacity.

Now, after losing Ray, I no longer carry the weight of his daily medical and emotional care and the constant stress and sadness attending that. But it goes deeper and farther. I no longer have that “other shoe” I talked about  in Knowing Someone Will Die, suspended above my head. My children are now young adults. There is a shift from me worrying about them to them starting to watch out for me. My business, no longer in its infancy, hums along fairly well most of the time.

So I feel somewhat more secure and less like the sky is falling every day. Perhaps this is the calm before another storm but, rather than anticipating it, I’ll just enjoy these smoother seas for now. Living in the moment was never a better idea than it is right now.

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